id be glad to
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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