I just pynch a tree in the face
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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