wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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