It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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