get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
