Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
