Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
