Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
