Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize