i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
