how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His nipple licking is glorious
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