there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
