Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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