I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
