when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
