11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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