I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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