I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
