Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
