He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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