I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
