I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
