is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
