I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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