Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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