And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
