brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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