You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got chris browned last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
