Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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