I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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