I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
