if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
