I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize