His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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