i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
