Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think my moral compass just broke
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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