so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
