You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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