Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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