Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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