I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize