I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
