Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
