Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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