I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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