What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
