Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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