New invention idea: vibrating tampons
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
