Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
