Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
