you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
