his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
