Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
