maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
