so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
