Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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