Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
