Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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