She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
