i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
