i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
