dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
