Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
