pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
