Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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